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Safe Calls: where did they  go?


So i'm sitting in  my office ,  reading some  articles , when I fall upon  one article  in particular

I read my way through it " twice"  ( I have dyslexia)  I  am left with these thoughts

1)  I have seen this time and time again

2)  what in the world happen to safe calls?

Now I would love to  blame the loss of such on the new  Generation influx of  people coming into the  local scene

Lack of education  and so forth but, that would be wrong and actually inaccurate .

I know of many , who have been around the scene for  quiet awhile who don't use them , don't feel they need them, or plain don't care to  try them

people I know are not  part of the new influx generation, or lack  education in the fact they exist

So  what happened to safe calls? and  what good are they  if we don't use them?

They may not be the end all,  fix all solution to  ending  bad  stories  but they  would help if they were used!

So what do they Do  for us?

They  set a solid precedent that others are watching over you.

They  help clearly define how much  the person  your using them with  cares about your safety.

They Offer you a way  out of  Bad dates.

Lets start from the beginning


From the terminology  page in  this website

SAFE CALL: A practice sometimes used as a safety measure when meeting a new partner for the first time. The safe call is a prearranged telephone call made to a trusted friend at a specific time to let that friend know that everything is okay; may involve the use of special code words to indicate whether or not the person making the safe call is in danger or distress.


well there's a problem

a practice "sometimes" used? what's up with that?

If it was always used we wouldn't have  half the horror stories  we  have now would we?

Ok,  so  let's look at what I define a Safe Call as:

Safe Call :

a  predetermined call to or from someone  who you trust with your life!

Set up  through a close friend, a roommate, a Mentor or anyone you can depend on and trust with  your safety

Note: I said depend on!

We  need to  use a person we can depend on for a few reasons,

1) the call has to actually be made or  received for it to work and  be a Safe Call,

thus dependability they will be available for you  and " follow through"   is  a Solid  requirement

2) If  something is wrong with the safe call they will know what to do , Who to contact and what action to take to  enforce your Safety

Text is not best as a safe call , unless you have  to punch a secure code into your cell phone for it to work that only you know

the Best safe call is voice call  made or answered

a Safe call can  use  coded words

so Lets use some examples:

For  simplicity we will use   male Dom,  female sub

they are going to meet up for a chemistry  check and  real time discussion at  7 PM in a " PUBLIC"  restaurant

No  big deal right? I mean if something goes wrong  she can just  yell right?

Ok  so lets say   a safe call is put in place with   me, at say  9pm I'm going to call her
I know the restaurant they are eating at  and where it's located as well as the  phone number to reach them

So at  9pm i call her cell phone and ask>  how is it going?

she responds >The  restaurant was  booked full we had to  go to  applebee's on the same road

other than that it's been Great,  Nice dinner, good convo and  everything  smooth.

so I ask>  ok ,are you separating  after dinner or  going for coffee or what ?

she says>  we  may go for coffee

Me> ok  in half hour?

Her> No

Me> Longer like  1 hour?

Her > yes

Me> ok  I'll call back at  10:30 unless i hear from you first

Her> ok Dunkin  Donuts is right down the street

at  10:30 i call her back

Me> everything ok?

her> yes we are saying goodbye now

me> ok call me when you  get into your car and are leaving

Her > ok

she calls back  10 minutes later   headed home Safe


In  this case  ,  Her date is very aware she is touching base with  someone  on the outside of her date she may even tell them

Excuse me this is my safe call

Now  lets look at a twist of  things going wrong

They go to  Dunkin Donuts   they sit in car and he can't  keep his hands to himself

10:30  comes and she doesn't answer her phone for whatever reason

I call back  4 more times, No answer and the phone goes into  voice mode  first ring

My next step will be to  notify the police in that town that  my  lady friend is on a blind date and  was having  meal at  such and such restaurant and then coffee and  has not answered her phone  as prearranged, last time i spoke to her  was  1.5 hours ago and i'm  concerned for her

could you send a car  by the coffee shop please.

Ok  another twist  in the safe call

when I called  at  9pm  and asked how everything was going, she stated  ok  we are at different restaurant Applebee's and the food was  kind of salty

Salty food > means she has a bad vibe in her gut (  a preset  code word used )

Me>  do you want to  call it a night?

Her > yes

Me>  then  excuse yourself  something  important has  come up you must  take leave, gather your  purse and  stuff and exit the building and call  me when your safe in your car


Me>  keep this call line open, excuse yourself  and explain  something has come up and you  must take leave then exit

But keep this call open  until your safe within your car

(This  Gives Me the ability to  hear  the dates reply and how they handle it,  thus allowing me  to see any red flags that may arise   during the exit)

Ok so for one final twist

lets say  everything  goes  super smooth and there is good chemistry  between them

and  against all  warning they want to play on the first date

Let's face it  that does happen, so how do we deal with it?

Ok so at  10:00  she calls me and says>   they hit it off great and want to  spend more time together

me> are you going to play?

her>  yes i think so

Me> ok where?

her >his place

me> not  a good idea

her> I  trust him  it will be fine

Me> tell him this and see what his reaction is>

in order for you to go to his  place to play you need to remove to  worry from your friend so you need the address  of where your going, His legal name and drivers licence number

all of which will be  kept confidential

if  he  balks at any of that ,  you  are not going

I hear her tell him the above

he laughs  but  kindly says  sure  here is  my  Licence and all that info is on it

her>  she reads me the info

Me> i  wrote it  down,  how long before we touch base again

her> in the morning

Me >  No WAY

Her>  come on

Me>  Tell  him I need to hear  from you by  1 am

her>  ok  he says   he will watch the time and have me call

me > ok, if I don't hear from you by 1 am  people are going to be looking for you

her> ok   , but that's not  needed we are fine

Me> I'm serious  so be careful

at  12:30  she calls me  when she is in her car to tell me  how much of a great night  she had

the point is  she is safe,  nothing bad ,  and was in  contact with someone who cared about her safety all  night

not only that  but her date  freely offered the info  to  show he was also concerned about her safety

Now you all may think this is crazy

But  I was a vouched,  Vetted  Dom  who was close friends  with my slave's mentors for years

and she had 5 safe calls  on our first play date

She  used safe calls , while  meeting and playing within the scene

Most of the people I have listened to with bad  horror stories  never had or made a safe call !

Safe Calls may  not be to  end all answer,  but putting them together with  Vetting,  Observing Red Flags and so forth  would surely  help  reduce the bad story situations that  happen!

So what do they Do  for us?

They  set a solid precedent that others are watching over you.

They  help clearly define how much  the person  your using them with  cares about your safety.

They Offer you a way  out of  Bad dates.

so why Not use them?


Copyright© By TWO 2014

Reprinting of any  content within this section is allowed provided it is accessed free of charge

or with my personal consent ( a copy  forwarded would be nice)

Copyright© By  kinktoychest.com 2010


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